I am nothing without YOU

When I take a look on my life from the start of my journey here during my university life, I can only say thank you to God. Because of Him, I can have the opportunity to study as a nurse and soon to be graduated as a nurse. So far, I am so proud of what I achieved and say that this must be only because of Him.

As I am still human and somehow imperfect, I feel I am messing up my life lately. I assume that in some point of my life these days, i did something wrong that i didn’t recognize unless somebody told me I am doing wrong. I just can’t feel anything related to right and wrong.

I need somebody to tell me that I am definitely doing something wrong and I need to change my direction. I am glad that God care for me, and He blessed me with a friend, a best friend, i should say that she never hold it back or never think about how I feel as long as she knows that I am doing something wrong and need some corrections. I like this person. She is one of few friends of mine that always say the truth. I am happier to know that God spoke to me through His word today, He said that because He loves me than He will discipline me. I am happy because I know that I need that at the moment.

I am sad to realize that i only have very few friends at the moment. This reminds me that i may not putting a lot of efforts to become a good friend that is why I have only few friends. Well, the proverb said, I need to be a good friend if I want to have a good friend. So maybe I haven’t tried my best to be a good friend.

Now my heart is still beating so fast to find out that near my end of study as I realize i need to write a research paper, my examiner are those who I adored in my school. A nurse from America, two nurses from Indonesia, and a nurse that is going to be in England. Well, four of them I adored because of their knowledge, skills, and attitude. I am trembling to meet them on the first presentation of my research, but I know I will be fine when I put my trust in Jesus.

Hey, let me tell you the song that I’ve been listening to lately. It said: “Teach me to trust in You, with all of my heart. To lean not on my own understanding. Because I just forget, You won’t give me what I can’t bear.”

I am nothing without Him, Jesus. All my relationship I need to lay it down to Jesus, He is the one and only Friend I had forever. The only Friend that has laid down His life for me so that I can be saved. For all my worries, I remember that my worries would not help me in finishing my research paper. Jesus will surely help me by providing a great wisdom and understanding about the topic. I know that He will use things around me to discipline me so I can be more like Him day by day.

I can’t stop talking about Him, because He is everything to me. Thank you Jesus that although I am this unclean and imperfect, You still loves me so. I am here Lord, presenting my life back to You. Please take the wheel and drive my life according to YOU J-maps, the map created by You where I can have a great journey in glorifying your Name.