Another picture of LOVE

I remember watched a two-hour movie titled “LOVE SICK” with my sisters in the dorm. It was a very simple movie but it sort of kicked me in my gut. It brought me a new perspective about love. Love is something that will never run away from us. It is there and when it is our time to experience it we can never say no or run away. :) It also shows how a gentleman needs to be gentleman in order to win the lady’s heart! ;)

Anyway, this reminds me of my dear friend. :) the dear friend of mine that always with me. ;) cheer me up, irritating me, filled my phone’s inbox, shared things with me, AND OF COURSE colonized my bed in the dorm. She is a lovely lady! I met her 3 years ago. She was so arrogant, I can’t speak to her, and I need my every courage to let her take what I am saying to her. She is like my mom, famous around boys, so I know that she has many loves story that I just can’t understand how love could so easily come to her. :) She is the booster around to other girls in the group, if she says yes then all other will be yes, if she says no then it’ll be a no for all. :(

Well, thanks Jesus that she is so different now! She has become somebody else that is so much better than she is used to be.

A man praised her one day and thanked me because now she is a cheerful and wise lady. (this man was the reason why I wrote this). He should not be thanking to me, because truly I never do anything to her. I ignore her all the time, make her mad, and be busy with my life! She hates me so for this but she has grown stronger each day. ;)

Alright, the man is my friend. I don’t know how this lady and this man met but the world is just so small if God wants it to be small. :) So they are now friends. I can see that they have fall for each other but they are just arrrghh so complicated! :(

I cannot tell anything else abut this complicated story but I can write about how love is so amazing!

The lady and the man are both Catholic. They met in prayer and know that their prayers is being answered well by God in some ways that they just don’t understand how. I praise GOD when I saw them. I praise GOD when they both went away with tears on their eyes and rang me at the same time! I wasn’t even with them when they called me! I thanked GOD that how they care for each other can be seen clearly in my eyes.

I just have no idea how this story will end because GOD is the only one who has the pen and the eraser for this love story.

To my dear friend, I really want to write this:

Dear sister in Christ, I thanked God for you. I thanked God that He chose you to be with me and to grow together with me. It was a great time and wonderful memories to know you and share things with you.

As the days go by, I remember how you always be there to make sure that I know I can do things great and that you learned many things from me. Until now, I know you always try to make sure that I am confidence enough to say: ‘Yes, I have done this best thing in my life!’ because you know, I am always so not-confidence with what I did.

my dear one, THANK YOU! i have absorbs many things also from you and I can feel it. I have absorbs your stubbornness. I know I just can’t stand it if somebody say ‘No’ and ‘disagree’ with me. Thank you that you help me learned my lesson in patience and in forgiveness. Thank you that you let me learn how to love, like, admire, and let go! Thank you that you have opened my eyes to the gentleman. ;) Thank you that you have made me care more for others. :) Thank you for let me be your sister in Christ.

One day, when you walk down the aisle on your wedding day, please remember the sentence we read together in ‘our bench’ at our lovely campus. “when God wants it, in His right time, He will make your partner cross your path and be with you.”  As you walk down on that day, I know that it is your time. :) I will always be here watching you by the distance, be a 24/7 customer service agent, and let you sleep in my bed when needed. :)

I love you for what you are and you are my sister no matter what! Remember, every time you call me I know that you are the beauty and the one that I love to hear talking with me about anything!

Thank YOU, JESUS for the relationship YOU made between us. Help us to be what YOU want us to be. :)

I had this conversation with another sister in Christ.

A: Hey, isn’t it wonderful when we think about LOVE?

B: Yes, absolutely! How Jesus loves us so much!

A: True, but not only that! How He designed us, ladies, to meet the gentlemen! That part is always wonderful to me. God’s love is everywhere!

B: And which part is amazing? I know many wonderful stories in the Bible about love.

A: Can you imagine this: man always send signals if they like woman. Imagine a lighthouse. I remember standing in the front deck of a big ship in the night and I am just so confuse to see which one is the light from the lighthouse. Man’s signals towards woman are like that. As woman, we are the ship, standing on our feet making life in the seas. Lighthouse stand there in the land, and as a ship we need to come to the land to sell and buy things for living. The environment, the sun and the moon are God’s love! with the help of the sun, we can see the lighthouse in the daytime and know it in the night by the help of the moon. If it is God’s willing, we will approach the lighthouse soon. ;)

B: Kakaaak, that’s true! Never think about that but that is true! absolutely true! And above all it is GOD that loves us so much! He is the amazing love, He was born naturally for something supernaturally that we may become HIS children! :) LOVE IS SO AMAZING!

Thanks Jesus that YOUR LOVE is so amazing! :)

Because YOU are faithful!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! :)

It has been a while since I was writing and explaining what has been going on with me lately or how faithful GOD as always with me.

Since August 2011, I have graduated from my nursing school. Praise GOD for that, because I cannot complete my study if it wasn’t HIM with me. He is the GOD that enables me to finish my final paper/thesis on 3 days! HE is so amazing, I always tremble when I remember the day my supervisor/lecturer told me that I need to finish my paper just 2 days after the data collection. I wasn’t messing around but the timing was so instant. Praise GOD, I did finish it! Praise HIM more that it was an A! :)

I never know what HE has planned ahead for me but I did submit my resume and cover letter to my university and the hospital where I used to do my clinical to look for something to do during gap year before I start my professional year as a nurse. Well, I did help in my school as a laboratory assistant and was assisting my brother and sister (and myself) to learn more about nursing and the clinical skill (that I am also learning). It was fun and it gave me new perspective about lectures and how classes is not as simple as to just come on time, sit down, and listen to the lecturer. It is more than that! There are heaps of work for the lecturers that we as students sometimes just don’t understand. Thanks to JESUS, this experience opened my eyes and heart to appreciate my teachers/lecturers more! Thanks Jesus for them who taught me at school and university!

My resume and cover letter ended up in my university itself but in another department. It ended up in the science and mathematics department! MAN, I am not good in maths and science (except biology)! The bosses did call me for an interview on Friday and it was a 45mins interview with 2hours training on the same day! I need to be there on Monday for a budget meeting that I just don’t know at all what it is about! It was so unexplainable for me myself! It just happen like a click! I am a junior administrative staff now (a temporary one)! :)

Before I start my work as administrative one, I need to be working in the promotion team for my nursing school. It was so challenging but I got the chance to change people’s perspective about nursing. They always think that nursing is just to help people, assist doctor and following the doctor’s order. Truly, nursing is more than that, many things and so amazing! :) I prayed that many new nurses will be born from this city and they will love Jesus so much so that the care was made just because of Jesus!

Then the days as administrative staff begin. I started my day by a special lecture about budget given by the head of math course. I just don’t get a picture of what he was talking about and what he was expecting me to do with what he has explained to me but he was a great lecture, clear explanation and so patience! Then I began to read all the files that the former staff left me (actually I just had no idea about what all is stated there). Days passed and I got used to what I am doing. Praise GOD for my coworker that was SO helpful! She is so ‘alkaline-lady’ type! She could manage things well and always had a way to solve things. We are working on accreditation and I need to become the secretary! Something that I just not used to! I tried all my best to cover up and to write all the notes down as I always do with all the lectures that I had.

As the time flies, we finish up with the budget planning and we move on with the accreditation! I remember one day, when the head of math program asked me for my full name and my title (as I already complete my study officially but not ceremonially), I became so proud of myself. That day was the first time in my life I used my title.

Now, I am Kinanthi Lebdawicaksaputri, S.Kep.

Deep in me, I thanked GOD for it! and I questioned myself, will I be ready to bear the responsibility I need to bear with that title? I am a nurse! :) once again, I am a nurse! I just can’t believe it! I AM A NURSE! :) :)

After one month of work, it is now the day of my graduation! I thanked GOD for my study as HE has sent me to many places during my study to experience many things. As I stand there in the first row as best graduate from my school (I just can’t believe this but it is for real), I prayed that GOD would allow me to do my best to help many people so that they may see HIM in me as I help them. It is hard! I feel the pressure when I stand and pronounced the vow to be working all of my life for the good of my country which will glorify GOD. I am just not ready so not ready but I know I am ready based on the experiences physically! please, be with me GOD! :) :)

I do enjoy work as administrative staff and it is so fun but then I sort of loose my vision as a nurse that I should pursuing my goal as a professional Christian nurse! :) so when it is time for me to leave for my professional year that (suddenly, but fine) will be in January 2012, I am just so scared! I am scared that I cannot do my best as I used to be and I just so scared that my skills are just not enough to make me a good nurse. One thing that I am also scared is also scared to leave. ;) I know my heart, it is so easy to get used to something, but it is just so hard to leave it behind. :( Well, I hope it will be smooth when January finally come. :)

Anyway, through this last few months I just realize that no matter what, Jesus is so faithful. He is so faithful that I just have no words to explain! Through my worries, anxiety, and scares, HE is there! So faithful!

That is why I will do my best to be obedience to HIM!

Here below I posted a lyric by Brian Doerksen in his song Your faithfulness:

I don't know what this day will bring
Will it be disappointing, filled with longed for things?
I don't know what tomorrow holds
Still I know I can trust Your faithfulness
I don't know if these clouds mean rain
If they do, will they pour down blessing or pain?
I don't know what the future holds
Still I know I can trust Your faithfulness

Certain as the rivers reach the sea
Certain as the sunrise in the east
I can rest in your faithfulness
Surer than a mother's tender love
Surer than the stars still shine above
I can rest in your faithfulness

I don't know how or when I'll die
Will it be a thief, or will I have a chance to say goodbye?
No, I don't know how much time is left
But in the end, I will know your faithfulness
When darkness overwhelms my soul
When thoughts and storms of doubt
Still I trust You are always faithful, always faithful

Certain as the rivers reach the sea
Certain as the sunrise in the east
I can rest in your faithfulness
Surer than a mother's tender love
Surer than the stars still shine above
I can rest in your faithfulness

I don't know what this day will bring
Will it be disappointing, filled with longed for things?
I don't know what tomorrow holds
Still I know I can trust Your faithfulness

This song has blessed me personally in the time when I just feel I just cannot handle things! Too much, too complicated, and I am just not ready! I just so scared, I am afraid I will failed! :(

This song reminds me:

1. GOD is FAITHFUL!
2. HE is in control for everything!
3. HE is with me every single moment!
4. Although it will be the darkest time of my life, GOD is my light and bring me hope!
5. All that I am, I know I am HIS daughter, and HE loves me so!